Monday, December 31, 2012
When I began the Christmas series, “Light,” I promised to carry that theme into the New Year. This column is the opportunity to do just that.
It's been said that as parents, it is our job to work ourselves out of a job. Or to see our children to that place of adulthood where our job description is significantly and irreversibly altered. We do that by shining our parenting light into our adult world (as an example) and into our children's world (as a nurturer). I want to encourage you to continue to shine in the humble servant’s position that is parenthood. It is a job in which you may not get a lot of accolades, but shine anyway. Two years ago, I began writing for Patch. Though I had hundreds of publication credits to my name, this was something new: the discipline of weekly deadlines. Writing “The Growth Chart” grew me in completely unexpected ways. And it was good. It was …
Monday, December 24, 2012
I love it when the snow comes – it always magnifies Light.
This Christmas season has been unique for me. Though I’m not one to get caught up in the shopping frenzy, preferring instead the charm of homespun gifts and simple conveyances (like giving a goat!), this year, more than ever, I’ve stayed out of the stores. I did take a young friend shopping (she helped me choose for my kids; I helped her choose for her mom) and it was a night filled with the wonder of the giving-spirit of Christmas. An experience everyone should have. There is nothing wrong with having fun shopping. Yet as I shop, I’m almost always aware that if I spend too lavishly I will have less to share with others who are truly in need. This year, the concerns have been keenly present, as visible to me as the lights that have …
Monday, October 15, 2012
Counting Your Blessings also means protecting them — sometimes from the dangers that lurk in our own homes
I always say that when God wants to drive home a point, He makes sure I hear it from several sources. This happens to me so routinely, I have to wonder if God knows I'm just so dense that I won’t learn it any other way ... This week, while serving as a greeter at a theater audition, I listened as a friend sang “Count Your Blessings.” Later, she told me that she was singing it for me. “How sweet,” I thought, but I really didn’t get it, yet. Two days later, someone else commented: even when it’s difficult, we need to “count our blessings." As I was “recounting” the conversations to yet another friend, she laughed: “My morning devotion was all about ‘counting your blessings,’ and I felt like I was supposed to tell you that, but I just hadn’t …
Monday, October 8, 2012
Does today’s teens use of technology disprove the adage: “There is nothing new under the sun?” Perhaps the issues surrounding social media have existed for ages ...
Your heart pounds. Your hands tremble. You hide in the basement where there is more privacy, even though you suspect your mom is listening down the clothes-chute. Your mind is racing with what you need to say to get to the object of your crush. How can you even think about how you’ll word the invitation? You pick up the receiver, place it behind your ear, then dial. It seems an eternity until each number rotates back to its spot, making way for the next turn. All the while, your head is spinning with words. “Hello?” All your perfectly articulated words have turned to mush. “Uh, helllloo? Is-uh- I mean, Mrs. Smith? I would like to speak at—to—your daughter Cindy. Is she—er-available?” Fortunately, the voice on the other line is kind. Mrs., …
Monday, October 1, 2012
In my quest to open up discussion on how parents deal with an “Empty Nest,” I
discovered that there are many kinds of “empty." This article is for parents whose nest feels empty out of season.
Parents who go through a divorce begin to feel “empty nest” feelings in a season that feels as though it is too soon. Adjustments are difficult for both parents and kids. This week, I interviewed four parents who have experienced divorce. These men and women, whose stories I am sharing under pseudonyms, have faced getting used to living without their children, at least part of the time, and survived, even when they felt as if they might not be able to. If you are going through a divorce that includes the adjustment of shared parenting or partial custody, I hope that the stories shared here help you not only to cope with your current situation, but to find hope for the future, for both you and your kids. The Questions: I interviewed two …
Monday, September 24, 2012
When it's "too soon," the emptiness feels "out-of-season," but even in such a season, there's a story that begs to be told
One of the things I love about this column is that I get to hear and disseminate and retell real-life stories. It is one of the highest honors of what I do, because each story is a treasure. Each person is precious. There is purpose in every experience. Telling a story allows others to partake, to be a part of someone’s life experience, to gain wisdom and to feel compassion for what a person has gone through. Being part of the story reminds us of our own humanity. Part of my “training ground” for “hearing” and “telling” came from years of meeting people and listening to them — asking questions, investing in the moment and thereby, in the person. This happened around dinner tables, during breaks at training sessions and conferences, in …
Monday, September 17, 2012
Your world has centered on taking care of your “peeps” from the time they first came into the world. Suddenly, they’ve flown. What now?
I’ve been talking to “Empty Nesters” — Mama Hens and Papa Roosters whose chicks have come out of their shells, grown, spread their wings and gone off to discover the world. All in a matter of — oh, say, five minutes? In retrospect, the season is short, parents agree. The Empty Nesters I interviewed, though shy about their identity, were forthright in sharing their hearts. Some of the conversations took place in a thread, so the “experts” were able to respond to one another as well as to my questions. I knew I couldn’t possibly do any better than to give my Patch readers the gift of their precious voices, so here are their responses: raw and heartfelt, in their own words. Real parents making real adjustments. Empty, yet somehow full. …
Monday, September 10, 2012
Single parent Linda Zifer reflects on how her children "defined her role" in life, and how she came to embrace who she is now as "Mom"
Last week, I had the opportunity to share the story of a couple who had planned carefully for the day when their nest would be “empty.” I hope that Will and Kim Adamczyk’s story will inspire younger Patch families to plan for and anticipate new stages life has to offer. I also recognize that many of our readers have family situations that distract or preclude them from such planning. To round out this series, I felt I needed several perspectives, and I wanted to interview a “Single-Parent Empty Nester” to share his/her story. When my initial lead fell through, I did what any objective journalist would do: I scrolled through my contacts and prayed for the Right Person to jump out at me. Behold: Linda Zifer. I couldn’t have been happier for …
Monday, September 3, 2012
During their 31-year marriage, the Adamczyks have worked hard to build their "nest." Parents for 24 years, they've taken their job seriously, but this holiday, they’ll be resting from their labors (right after they refill the chip dip!).
They’ve paid their dues as PTO parents and as Coach and Kool-Aid Mom, and now, the “end of the dock” has come and gone. Over the past several years, the birds of their flock have flown (right off the end of the dock — or was it their diving board?), but this couple is not the type to stand on the last plank and ponder sinking or swimming. Instead, they, too, intend to fly. Besides, there are days when the Adamczyk nest doesn’t feel exactly empty. When I stopped by, feathers were flying everywhere, as 24-year-old-daughter Erica chatted in the kitchen with some long-missed girlfriends, her son perched on her hip. A picture-text had just come from 19-year-old Ethan, a Lake High School graduate and basketball scholarship recipient at Lake …
Monday, August 27, 2012
I knew that the “end of the dock” was nearer than I “knew.” I’d felt it forever, it seemed.
I am the youngest of four girls. My sisters are five, seven and nine years older than I. I was the Baby. The after-thought. The surprise (though my mother insists that all of her children were “PLANNED.") (I’ve always wanted to ask her if this implies that “oopses” are somehow less-loved…) I was definitely the Last Hope for a Boy. (I am Donna Jeanne, named after my father, Donald Eugene.) Once, with a group of moms who were talking about how life changed after the addition of the third child in the family, my mother commented: “I don’t know, for me it was the fourth that pushed me over the edge…” My brain clicked: “Wait! That’s me!” Fortunately, I’ve always had a strong sense of self-deprecating humor and I thought it was hilarious. My mom…
Donna J. Noble
2:42 pm on Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Thank you, Morgan. Keep up the good work! Your work means a great deal to our community. What did we ever do before Morgan Day and Patch? :) Let's do lunch soon. more ›