After all the responses I received to “The Mother of All Playlists,” (including additions like John Mellencamp’s “Authority Song” and Dierks Bentley’s “What Was I Thinking?”) I decided to keep this list thing going for another week.
Here are some other song titles that directly coincide with my motherhood experience. I’d love to hear the “mommy songs” that are on your playlist.
The Gambler – Kenny Rogers
What you become when you try to decide whether or not to smuggle the newborn into the movie theater in her car seat or risk taking the three-year-old into a nice restaurant. Know when to walk away and know when to run – running would probably be the better choice if she has created a gritty, Hiroshima-type cloud from the contents of the pepper shaker and most of the Equal packets.
Something’s Always Wrong – Toad the Wet Sprocket
Well, that’s an understatement. Someone always has a splinter, a hangnail, a loose tooth, a tummy ache, a stubbed toe, an attitude problem, some eggs on their head or a bunch of poop in their diaper.
Shower the People – James Taylor
When you stick all of the kids in the shower at the same time and hose them down. Also the idea that my son gets every time he grabs the sprayer from the kitchen sink.
A Bad Goodbye – Wynonna
When you’re trying to go on a date with your husband and your kids don’t want you to leave. You say, “Love you! See you in a couple of hours!” They say, “NOOooooo! Don’t weave me! WAaaahhh!”
If You Leave – OMD
Usually happens after A Bad Goodbye. Go ahead, hum this one: “If you leave, I will cry, I will dump popcorn on the floor, I promise to open the cupboards and climb in the refrigerator… I’ll paint the dog and jump in the bathtub – with my PJs on… every second, every moment – I’ve got to, I’ve got to make you come home….”
Are You Lonesome Tonight? – Elvis Presley
"Because I am! As a matter of fact, I’m SO darn lonely that I’m going to bang my forehead against the slats of this crib until sometime comes in here and gives me some attention!"
Walking After Midnight – Patsy Cline
When the baby won’t stop crying after you feed her, rock her, sing to her, swaddle her, beg her, do magic tricks for her and stand on your head for her. Sitting down would just be unacceptable, so you go walking up and down the hall – at midnight, at 1:00am, at 3:00am – you get the idea.
Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Tokens
When your grumbly, roaring, haircut-needing, biting little monster FINALLY conks out for more than 3 hours at a stretch.
Just to See you Smile – Tim McGraw
A mom will do ANYTHING to see her baby smile. Goofy dances, crazy faces, bad celebrity impressions, ridiculous songs, corn teeth (or maybe that’s just me). Anything.
Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles
The last thing you want to see through the blinds when your eyes are still matted together, you’ve slept for all of 47 minutes, your hair still has toothpaste in it from a toddler altercation the night before and you do NOT feel like making breakfast.
I Want To Hold Your Hand – The Beatles
What you sing in the grocery store parking lot when everyone jumps out and takes off for the candy machines by the entrance.
Saturday Night Fever – The Bee Gees
This dreaded song is usually accompanied by throwing up, a frantic search for Tylenol, a midnight run for some Ginger Ale and some sweaty, stinky snuggling – in YOUR bed.
Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen
Your cell phone rings and all you hear is loud breathing, some thumps, a crash, a squeal, a little voice saying “Mamamamama! Poop! Googie!” followed by Grammie’s voice saying, “Hey, when did you learn to push redial?” Click.
Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) – The Temptations
“A gigantic spider! On the ceiling! A sound! I heard a sound! Something is in my closet! There’s a bird in here! There’s a skunk in the basement!”
Peaceful Easy Feeling – The Eagles
When you’re finally outside in the sunny yard on a blanket watching the kids eat popsicles and play in the baby pool. You have nowhere to go, nowhere to be, a glass of iced tea in one hand and a book in the other. No one is crying – for the moment – and dinner is already in the Crockpot.
You’re Gonna Miss This – Trace Atkins
It’s hard to believe when you’re dealing with a tantrum, a sinus infection, a broken collarbone, a biter and a late night pee-in-the-bed incident, but truer words were never spoken. If you’ve never heard this country song and you’re a mom, well, all I can say is: get yourself some tissues and listen.